I’m back.
I left for a while and now here we are, together again just as it should be.
I had this space for myself about 5 years ago and it was a wonderful outlet and place where I could be honest and write about what I loved and what I was struggling with, but honestly, even with this…life got too hard to be able to stop and focus on writing about it. I was experiencing a lot of just life- and it was overwhelming at times. Writing about it all while it was happening became a burden rather than a therapy session like I had envisioned. I had to take a step back and focus on what was going on and where I wanted to be before I could tell the world about it all.
That’s why we’re here now. It has been a long time since I wrote anything for anyone other than myself and I’m ready to change that.
I have always felt as though I wrote better than I spoke. I don’t have to worry about forgetting key parts to stories or arguments. I don’t have to worry about crying so hard that I can’t even get my words out. It’s just nice to sit at my computer and have all my thoughts and feelings come pouring out of me on a page that I can go back and read over and over again. I’m also able to hear just how crazy I sound out loud sometimes and that’s helpful as well.
I want this to be an open space, not just for me, but for anyone else out there who reads this. I want to interact with people who understand what I’m going through, who feel the same heaviness, sadness, joy, excitement and frustrations.
I want to be able to write about mental health and the toll that our current world is taking on everyone. I also want to write about fun makeup, skincare, and clothes that I find. I want to write about my dog. My psychotic, loud, very fast for a Basset Hound, angel of a dog. Who likes to tear apart so much of my physical belongings, pees where he’s not supposed to, eats everything in sight, (even if its poisonous) but who will also cuddle up with me every single night when we go to bed. I want to write about my job and how from the outside it seemed like a dream, but inside I felt like I was losing myself and that led to me leaving my stable career at the start of a global pandemic. I want to write about my relationship. The ups, the downs, the years we have spent growing and learning together. All the trips we go on and the amazingly fun things we’ve done along the way. I want to write honestly. I don’t want to try and be perfect because other people can view this. This should be real and open and that’s what I want to do. I am a person who never says enough. I hold back my feelings and I have a fear of not being good enough or not being like everyone else. Sometimes that gets in the way of what I actually want to say so this is me making that promise to change.
I hope you enjoy the things I choose to write about and I hope the things I say make you feel something. Maybe you won’t necessarily “feel” something about a moisturizer or a curling iron I love but then again, maybe you will.
